its been a while. i have nothing interesting to add. no good anecdotes. nothing. i just got hbo for the first time ever. theres a special on right now about AC hookers. i should dvr it for sam no dice. speaking of ac, im on one of my best gambling upswings in a long time. not for a ton of money, pretty low stakes, but i havent lost in what seems like months, online and in ac. its sick. im trying to save up for a trip im thinking about taking out to the west coast at the end of summer to see friends, visit culinary schools, maybe see oasis, etc. i just dont want to go alone and thats what it seems like i'll have to do. i need people to practice cooking for, im dying to try new stuff but noone in my house would eat what i make. maybe ill have a dinner party or something.

gerity is moving out of his apt in a month. im pretty bummed. place rules, always good hangin. it moreso bums me out though that hes done with college and getting a real world job. good for him, its just making me realize i havent done anything. i know im kinda trying to make up for lost time now, and im glad im pretty much over my depression/bi-polarness/panic attacks but i still feel so behind and i feel like im growing apart from everyone i know.

i sold my bass and my gear. i kinda feel the same way i did when i sold my records; apprehensive and like im making a bad choice. my current band situation has bummed me out so much i just needed to break away from the attachment of wanting it to happen so badly when i know it wont. maybe someday ill get to go on tour, its one of my top 3 goals ive had and its becoming more and more unlikely. people seem to be really into the new record, too.

i hate being serious.